The Best Leadership Book!

I've been working in and around leadership development for over 30 years and I was recently asked, "what's the best book on leadership?" I had to come up with an answer on the spot. I ran through corridors of books in my mind. But there are thousands of books on leadership, and thousands more published every year! Most fall into the category of "the [x] steps to success", or "I did it my way". A few are based on empirical research.

 If I had to come up with one book, which one would it be? No, I'm not going to sell you "my book". In fact, I'm not going to sell you anything at all. The one book that I recommend most to my executive coaching clients and to my wisdom in leadership program participants is...

..."The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz, first published in 1997. This amazing little book claims to derive from the wisdom of the pre-Aztec "Toltec" teachings of Mesoamerican culture dating back to 800-1000CE. It seems they gave us more than tacos! But what could they possibly tell us about leadership in the 21st Century?

Quite a lot as it turns out. Ruiz talks about our present reality as a dream, a shared dream. When we are young children we're taught about the dream, it's rules and codes of conduct. He calls this process the "domestication of humans". Yet, the dream is made up of a matrix of agreements. Most have been made for us. And many more we make with ourselves. I may agree that I'm "stupid", "not pretty", or that I'm "deserving" of good fortune or bad.

Leadership comes down to understanding the agreements that govern our own lives first. Outstanding leaders see through the dream. They release themselves from unproductive agreements and make new agreements that benefit their personal growth and the wellbeing of those around them. Ruiz says there are just four agreements that leaders need to practice:

1.  Be impeccable with your word

Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally

Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

 3. Don't Make Assumptions

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best

Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. 

It seems blindingly obvious, yet it's  very difficult to do. Most of the leaders I've had the good fortune of working with over the years have been transformed by this little book. It has shaped their careers, their families, and their leadership legacy. It's the most powerful leadership book I know! 

See "The Four Agreements - Introduction" here.

Comments

  1. Mary C Dwyer, Impact Solutions International.October 12, 2015 at 6:25 AM

    I also loved this read Peter. Big thing to chose a "must read." Thank you for sharing

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The 6 Factors of System 3 Thinking for Making Wise Decisions!

Image
Professor Emeritus of Psychology and Public Affairs at Princeton University's Woodrow Wilson School, Daniel Kahneman, won the 2002 Nobel Memorial Prize in Economics for his work on system 1 and system 2 thinking in “Thinking, Fast and Slow” .  The idea that much of our thinking and decision-making is subconscious, and automatic (system 1), as opposed to rational and deliberate (system 2). But he missed the observation by Japanese theorists, Professor Emeritus Ikujiro Nonaka at the Graduate School of International Corporate Strategy, Hitotsubashi University, and Professor Hirotaka Takeuchi, of the Management Practice in the Strategy Unit of Harvard Business School that there is a third system . We typically rely on system 1 thinking because it’s automatic, fast, and experience-based. We use our innate or gut feel to quickly arrive at a decision that “feels right”. System 2 thinking is logical, rational, and fact-based. We use system 2 when we need to slow down and analyse the i...
Read more

Patience, young grasshopper!

Image
"Patience, young grasshopper" is a quote from the 1970's Kung Fu TV series starring David Carradine as Kwai Chang Cain. His teacher, Master Po called him "grasshopper" as a child, emphasising patience as the ultimate martial arts skill. But we live in an era of high-speed, same-day, cutting-edge, first-to-market, fast-food, get-it-now, snap-judgement. If we're told we have to wait, we get irritated. If we can't come up with the right answer right away, we get upset. if someone or something gets in our way, we get angry. Why is patience considered one of the most powerful martial arts practices? Because patience is the antidote to anger, and anger represents the most terrible and destructive manifestation of self-driven desire. When we're angry with someone, we're estranged form them and from the true core of our being. We end up losing the very thing we believe we're fighting for. Patience is a discipline. It takes practice to over...
Read more

How to Lead Millenials!

Image
Herding cats is easy compared to keeping a bunch of smart millennials motivated for long enough to make a meaningful contribution. Yet, fast-growing, agile, entrepreneurial organisations need this kind of sustainable energy to do good things for clients and communities. What's the secret?  It turns out this is exactly the same problem faced by professional service firms - the McKinseys, Deloittes, and BCGs of the business world. They have to entice a group of disparate professionals to give up autonomy in return for a group share of the profits, while at the same time maintaining the bonds of a matrix-structured organization which threatens to fly apart at any moment under the centrifugal force of massive ego! Have they cracked the code?  Laura Empson, Professor in Management at the Cass Business School, London, and Ann Langley, Professor of Management at HEC Montreal think they have. Their model of the professional service firm (2015) is an elegant guide in how t...
Read more